Scared!

Yesterday at work I started having some contractions. Not painful and not consistent but they were still there! I freaked! I called my doctor and talked to the nurse. She told me to lay low, keep my feet up and relax. Don't do anything stressful. So, I quit my job a couple days early and stayed home last night. I thought that they would go away but they didn't! they stayed all night. They ranged from 25 min. apart to an hour and a half apart and at night I went hours without having any. I think, at least. So they are definitely not consistent but DEFINITELY scary! I called the On-Call Doc last night to see what he thought and he said there's not much they can do but to come in tomorrow(Today) and get an ultrasound to check the cervical length.

I hate that I know how contractions feel. I hate that I am so paranoid about everything! I couldn't sleep last night at all! I cried and prayed almost all night last night! Jarom gave me a blessing and that helped. It gave me comfort, that's for sure! My mind is going crazy! I keep thinking positively like "Oh, it's probably nothing! I'm probably just really paranoid" blah blah blah but then I turn right back around and think the worst! I prepare myself for the worst and I had myself convinced that I would have to prepare to deliver this baby today! I hate that! I hate that fear! I was warned that this would happen with this pregnancy and I knew it would. I just really hate it! I feel like I am reliving the worst nightmare! The thought of losing another baby just kills me!

I pray and pray and pray! I know that Heavenly Father knows me and knows what's in my heart. I know that he knows how much we love this baby and want her in our family! I have faith that whatever happens is because it is in his plan and we will continue to be blessed. I know that He loves me and doesn't want me to hurt or be scared!

I go to the doctor in about an hour so I will update again and let you all know what's going on.

I know that I may be over reacting, but I have lived through the possible outcome of this already and it scares me to death to have to face it again! please pray that everything will be ok!! Thank you for your love and support!